To my best friend...

Okay so yes my best friend would be Jon, but I have a few other best friends. But one in particular who knows me better than myself sometimes, I'd like to thank. I really do appreciate all the patience and understanding you have shown. For always being there for me when I need someone and for always making me laugh. Today you proved you were a true friend (not that you needed to prove it, I already knew you were lol). I'm so glad I met you randomly in cyberspace lol because we have formed a wonderful friendship and bond that will last a lifetime. You are my twin sister from another mister lol Thank you, Megan, for being such a good friend. I sincerely hope we will meet again someday and have the chance to actually hang out! Well, I know it will happen eventually! We'll make it happen!

Quote of the Day:

"He seriously thought Freddy vs. Jason was the first Freddy Krueger movie...I about beat his ass."
-Jon

So proud of my man!

Today has been a very productive day. I've made some progress on my graphic design project and figured out better on where I want to take it. Although I had to start my website over in web design, I know how I want it to look and I can, luckily, still use my css style sheet. I just need to recreate a working skeleton! And I read half a marketing chapter! Okay, okay, I really should finish the chapter or keep reading...but I have time tomorrow to finish it. lol

The best part of my day though was talking to Jon this morning! There really aren't any words that describe how proud I am of him! He deserves it, he really does! It's wonderful knowing that all of his hard work is recognized and will be worth it in the long run. Just hearing him talk about it makes me smile and get excited. I can just picture the look on his face. I'm so happy for him!

Quote of the Day:

"I love you too you little Mac Nazi!"
-Tim

Hard Work Pays Off...

Or it could have just been a culmination of the many nights I spent filling out applications online, but I finally was hired today! Okay, so it's not an internship and it's in retail again...more specifically shoes again, but it's a job and I'll take it! It's a wonderful feeling to finally have someone say "yes" after being turned down time after time! My main message is, never give up. You may feel like you're not good enough, but you are. You are good enough, you just haven't found the right fit yet. I went through that thought process on my journey to finding a job (and yes, I know it's not anything special...but it's a success in my book). There were nights where I felt like I was completely worthless, that I had nothing to offer the world, and that I just wasn't good enough. But my loved ones helped me fight through it and kept me together when I felt like I was falling apart. They reminded me to hold my head up high and keep fighting and eventually someone would see that I have something to offer. Although I've known all this before, it was a strong reminder. I really am blessed to have so many people there for me. I don't know where I would be without them.

Quote of the Day:

"Sorry, when you said Paige in bed, my mind wandered..."
-Video production class

Time Heals

I decided to wait and work on my website during class, therefore I have some free time today. I need it. It's been a rough 24 hours and my little bit of optimism for today is the fact that I'm just going to relax today. I read some astronomy already, but my projects will have to wait for another day. Today, I need time to recover. Other than that, I found a good movie on the Lifetime website called Still Little Voices. But that's about it. My words of wisdom seem to fail me now. I just keep thinking, "time heals all wounds." But how long does that take? I guess it depends on how deep the wound is. So for now it's small talk and waiting. I'm hoping tomorrow is better. I need tomorrow to be better.

To love is to risk. To risk is to live. To live is to feel. To feel is to love. Take a risk, live your life, and love like you'll never be hurt.

::Edit (10:53pm)::

I really miss him. And it's nights like these when I just want to curl up next to him, lay my head over his heart and just hold him close. I want him to hold me and just let me cry. But realistically, since he's not here, I hope he calls tomorrow morning. I would give anything just to hear his voice and hear him say he loves me. I want to hear his laughter. Realistically, that may not happen and if that's the case. I'll take a deep breath, text him, and get through another day, because each day is a day closer to being with him again. There are ups, downs, twists and turns and it's not easy, but it's definitely worthwhile. And even at my lowest of lows, I know he loves me, just as I love him.

This brings me to my favorite quote:

"Now here you must leave all distrust behind; let all your cowardice die on this spot."

-Dante Alighieri

It's a quote that has brought me great strength and has reminded me that I need to face my fears. I can't be afraid all the time and I need to remember to trust those dear to me, but most of all remember to trust in myself. Thinking about it again now, I believe this should be included in wedding ceremonies. Not in the reference of walking into Hell, but in the reference of here is where you need to make that leap of faith. The leap that will test your strength and trust in each other. You must be brave to trust someone with your whole heart and if you're promising to love someone for forever, trust is a must. It's easier to love when you know they'll be there to catch you when you fall.

So on my down days, when I'm missing him, I need to remember to be strong, trust that things will be okay because I know that the love he and I share is something special.

Quote of the Day:

"You don't even know what green soap is."

"It's the stuff you use when you tattoo, you put it on the paper towel you use to wipe as you go."

"Holy shit..."

"I paid attention when you taught me"

-me and Jon

No Rain, No Gain

Today I had my first official camera crew position. I got to help out for a few hours, working one of the cameras on the track for Relays! Although I was required to sign up for a shift for my video production class, I'm glad I had to. It was a fun opportunity and I actually really enjoyed being a part of it. The only downside was the pouring rain and the wind that made it really cold. So not only did I have a face full of water from looking up at my view finder, I had to control my shivering so that I wouldn't mess up the shot. I walked away stiffly, with completely soaked pants and sweatshirt (despite wearing a raincoat) and you know what, I had fun. Well my arms and shoulders hurt from having the fight the wind and the fact that the tripod was up so high, but oh well. Maybe I'll see if I can do it again next year. After all, next year will be my last to experience Relays.

Aside from that, it was a quiet day filled with marketing homework. Thrilling, I know! But I did catch a break when I got a call back about a job. I have an interview set up and I'm hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that it works out. I really need this job and I really want to start saving up, not only for me but for me and Jon. I want to contribute. I feel bad that he's the only one working right now and I want to help out with the money situation. I know it may cause some added stress here and there because of scheduling but it will be a benefit in the long run.

Quote of the Day:

"I miss my beautiful bazy :-*"
-Jon

Focus on the Positive

So today hasn't been the best day, I mean it wasn't bad either, I was really tired and couldn't focus. It just wasn't one of those really good days. But some really good things did happen! After accidentally sleeping in 30 min, I got a call from Jon, which always starts my day off well! Classes were alright, I'm not as far on my projects as I wanted to be after today. I'll just make up for that this weekend. But tonight when I got to talk to him again, that's what really really made my day! He got his foot in the door for me and got me an opportunity I would never have gotten without him. I am so very thankful for that! I also found out that things are looking good at his job too and his hard work hasn't gone unnoticed! I can't tell you enough how proud of him I am! And after tonight I feel reassured that things are really going to work out. Yeah, we'll still have some hard times and things aren't set in stone yet, but everything will come together and everything will be okay. I know it and I believe it.

Quote of the Day:

"Do you really poo when you have a baby?"
-Eric via Megan lol

Make Every Minute Count

Wednesdays are usually good days for me but there is always something missing. That something would be him texting me and just being able to talk to him more. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand that he has a job to do and I'm perfectly okay with that. I'm proud of him and how hard he works. But it's the little things and I love hearing from him. Through all this, as I've grown more accustomed to his work schedule, I really have realized that now getting calls or texts from him while he's at work mean 1,000 times more than they did before! Getting them when I'm not expecting them, totally brings a smile to my face and is a wonderful way to start off my day! I know I won't get to talk to him much with his crazy work schedule coming up, but that just means enjoying the time I do get to talk to him. Make every minute count. Because even those few minutes mean the world to me and they are what I look forward to every day!

Quote of the Day:

"And his problem is caused by an excessive amount of friction."
-Video Production Class

Taking some time to relax

Today was different from my normal Tuesday. My morning class was canceled! So I decided to stay in bed a little longer, take a nice relaxing shower, finish off my homemade pancakes, and watch some shows online instead of being productive. Now I know I really should have been productive. I need to start this project because I only have 3 weeks to do it. But I really couldn't bring myself to let this opportunity pass me by. I had already planned on getting a set amount of homework done later in the day...so why rush it? Plus, I always get my projects done. So putting it off a day, wouldn't really effect it. My project will get done. It will look good. And everything will be okay. So all in all, this was a very good start to my day.

I was talking to my boyfriend this evening and he was having a kind of down night. We still have a year and 23 days before I finally move out there and he was just bumming about that. I was trying to cheer him up telling him, "we're over halfway there!" And thinking about it now, this school year has gone by so fast! And the next one, I'm sure, will go by faster! He may feel like he's paddling against the current and only getting a few feet, but I feel more and more excited with each passing month! I'm counting down the days overall, I'm counting down to the one year mark and after that it'll be month by month! Heck, my friend and I will even have a "1 year mark" dance to celebrate the fact we will be graduating and moving in with our men! It really is the little things in life that bring me a smile and laughter. And I'm telling you, I can't wait to dance that 1 year dance...and I'm even more excited for each month after that. But I'm even more excited for the day that I set foot into my new home with my love at my side. That will be an incredible day, one I will certainly never forget. But for now, one step at a time. So bring on that May boogie beat!

Quote of the Day:

"OMG my penis broke!"
-Megan

Quote of the Day

So I have decided that during my blogging time here, I will post quotes of the day on every post I write. They may be serious or they may be comments that were completely taken out of context. The out of context may appear more often, they make me laugh. Plus sometimes, you just can't help but to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. And there are days where laughter is the only thing that will get you through...

Quote of the day:

"The only reason I keep you around is for laundry and sex"

"Oh really, are those the only reasons?"

"And skydiving..."

-Me and Jon