Off Day

Yeah, I've been in a funk since Friday. Fears are starting to get to me and negative thoughts are creeping in. Maybe it's the stress, maybe it's routine getting to me, or maybe it's just me craving interaction with people (this weekend was pretty damn lonely). I was surrounded by a ton of people who loved me last weekend and hardly had any alone time and now it's just me and my homework and the occasional text I get on my phone. My phone has been quieter than I'm used to and that just reinforces the "alone" feeling. I hate it.

I want to go out and do something fun. I want to get my mind off of my fears and just let go and feel free. I want to not have to worry about homework for once or what I have to get done next. I want to experience something new and exciting. Maybe I'm hitting that 4 year itch mark...when I get restless of what I'm doing and feel the need to do something major to add some excitement. I know I have a lot of big things coming up in the next year, a lot of excitement and newness...but waiting 7 months to get there is too long. I need something now.

This apartment is getting to me. My job is getting to me. School is getting to me. I'm in a routine and I hate it. I usually like the stability...but after a while I feel like it suffocates me. I need some excitement in my life.

Crazy Busy and Livin' Life

Wow, I've really been slacking on my posts lately! But in my defense I've been incredibly busy with school work, then Fall Break, and well, frankly, I've just been lazy since I've been back lol. But I guess an update is in order.

School: Busy. Lots of homework, projects, tests and all that fun jazz. I didn't exactly fail my philosophy test like I thought I would. I got a high D instead. Definitely not my finest hour but a whole lot better than I was expecting. Maybe my teacher found some pity for me, especially since he knew I was actually trying. All of my other tests have gone pretty well which is good! But I'm just ready for things to slow dowwwwwn. Seriously. I really hope I don't have a crap ton of stuff to do over Thanksgiving Break. I'd love to actually have a BREAK. Woah, what a concept!

Also for a moment I thought about going to grad school next year. I looked at the universities nearby in OH and couldn't find a program and decided, eh, oh well. But it is going to be weird not having another school year to look forward to. I'll actually be sad. I won't get to buy books again and I won't have the excitement of starting classes again. It's going to be kind of sad. It will definitely be an adjustment to say the least! I may even cry lol.

Wedding: Well the weekend went alright. There was some drama the ensued...of course. Things did get resolved thankfully and we were all able to get past it. Hopefully. I did and Jon did at least, so that's what matters most. It was great seeing him, his family and my family though! I have missed them all! My parents were really funny lol, it's awesome how well they all four get along! It makes life so much easier! But yeah, I got my dress! It is gorgeous! AHHHH! lol I cannot wait to put it on again! I miss it :-( lol We also got the cake ordered and it will look and taste AWESOME! I'm so happy that we got the place we did! The venue was pretty and classic. We'll make it look even better for the wedding! Everything will turn out great...we just need to get past all the planning bumps lol.

All in all, it has been crazy busy! So tonight I'm taking a step back and relaxing...okay, I did that last night too. Oops. At least I got some stuff accomplished today! I answered another question for my marketing project, I read 10 pages in my marketing chapter, I went to work...yeah that's about it lol. Hopefully I'm more productive tomorrow. I need to find my beginning of the year motivation again. I think I might have pushed myself so hard that I burnt myself out for the rest of the semester. Oops. Can't do anything about it now. I just need to keep pushing forward!

Quote of the Day:

pretty much all of Becca's comments from last night lol

I Want To Help

We all have moments when we're selfish. We take for granted what we have.
I know I'm guilty of it. I'm not perfect. But I want to make myself a better person. I want to help others.

I've really been thinking about what I want to do with my degrees since I'll be graduating and going to the real world in a matter of months. I want to work with some company or organization that helps others. I want to make someone's day through graphic design or advertising. I'm not quite sure how to do this, but I want to find a way. I want to work with an organization that can do something amazing for this world and the people in it. I miss volunteering and I miss that feeling of accomplishment and love from helping a person in need. I want to give back to the world and share my talents with others. I want to feel like I'm doing good. I want to do something memorable.

I just want to show people that there is still good left on this Earth and there are still people out there who care.

Quote of the Day:

"Get-r-done"

Short and Sweet

I've been throwing around an idea in my head for the past couple days about what I wanted my next post to be. I started writing it but it wasn't what I was wanting. It didn't fit what I was trying to say. But here's the gist:

I am me. I love who I am and what I'm becoming. I'm learning a lot about myself and I'm figuring out what I want to do with that. I'm not perfect, but I love my imperfections.

Quote of the Day:

too many to remember.