Off Day

Yeah, I've been in a funk since Friday. Fears are starting to get to me and negative thoughts are creeping in. Maybe it's the stress, maybe it's routine getting to me, or maybe it's just me craving interaction with people (this weekend was pretty damn lonely). I was surrounded by a ton of people who loved me last weekend and hardly had any alone time and now it's just me and my homework and the occasional text I get on my phone. My phone has been quieter than I'm used to and that just reinforces the "alone" feeling. I hate it.

I want to go out and do something fun. I want to get my mind off of my fears and just let go and feel free. I want to not have to worry about homework for once or what I have to get done next. I want to experience something new and exciting. Maybe I'm hitting that 4 year itch mark...when I get restless of what I'm doing and feel the need to do something major to add some excitement. I know I have a lot of big things coming up in the next year, a lot of excitement and newness...but waiting 7 months to get there is too long. I need something now.

This apartment is getting to me. My job is getting to me. School is getting to me. I'm in a routine and I hate it. I usually like the stability...but after a while I feel like it suffocates me. I need some excitement in my life.